Category Archives: Fathering
Fatherless to Fathered.
I have been a dad since January 22, 2009. Since that time my life has changed in ways that I could not even begin to describe . Everything, from my faith and political opinions, to my work schedule have changed since my first son came into my life. Now, with the addition of my second son who came on May 1, 2010 I find myself even more affected by these 2 little creatures who have so radically altered my life. The reason I am writing this is because I am a dad who grew up without a dad. Like many of you I was fatherless. Abandoned. Alone. Broken. Hurt. While I didn’t fully understand the pain of not having a dad in my life would cause me, when I found out my wife and I were pregnant with our first child I knew that everything in my life was about to change in several BIG ways.
The biggest change came in the area of my faith. I am a Christian (though I prefer the title of Follower of Jesus, as the name Christian has become more of a joke then a title of honor) and as a Christian I have been taught my whole life that God was my Father. While I understood this is the sense of Him being the Creator of everyone and thus my “Father,” I never really understood it as Him actually wanting to be my Dad. I just couldn’t get it. I got Him as Creator and all the other great titles we give to God but the one I didn’t believe the most and the one that caused me more frustration and confusion then any other was, Father. That all began to change the day my wife and I found out we were going to have a baby!! To be honest, having a baby scared the CRAP out of me. Why? I had never really seen one before. Sure I had friends whose dad was around, but I never had one around. I never had a dad tell me to be strong here, don’t go there, treat girls like this, etc. I felt like I had been robbed.
The months leading up to the birth of my son were months of deep soul searching. I would stay up late wrestling with my thoughts and beliefs about God and His nature. I would wrestle with whether I really believed all I had grown up believing. This time in my life caused me to question EVERYTHING I believed in life. From God to politics. While I grew up believing that God was the “Father” of all people, I learned that I didn’t really believe that for myself. Then January 22, 2009 came and that all changed!!! In a single moment on the 4th floor of the Baton Rouge General Hospital, I got it. I understood it!!! In one moment that can only be described as a miracle I finally grasps the idea and understanding of God as Father. I got the fact that He loves me for me. He loves my smile and laugh. He hurts when I hurt. He cries when I cry. He gets angry with the things that hurt me and cause me pain. He is GOOD, KIND, and LOVING!!! I got it because in one moment I became a father and this is how I felt toward my child!!! If I could feel this way, how much more does God feel toward us?!?!
That moment changed everything about me!!! This journey from fatherless to Fathered has been difficult, but amazing!!! While I don’t usually go into my faith on this blog, I must admit that it play a HUGE role in me being a dad and how I approach fatherhood, so I thought it good to give a little background into my heart and where I am coming from. I love being a dad. I love having a faith that is more then rules and religion but relationship. I believe that God reveals Himself to us through the things around us in our lives. I think the 2 biggest ways He does that is through our wives and our kids. For now, thanks for taking the time to read a little piece of my story. I look forward to sharing more with you in the days ahead. Until next time.
Much love,
Shawn
The Love of a Father
There is just something about having kids that turns a tough and gruff man into a pile of mush!!! I can’t really figure out if it began when we found out we were pregnant, or after my first son came. All I know is that I am madly in love with my kids. It’s crazy. I’m like a little school boy with a crush. I find myself pulling out my wallet to look at their pictures, watching their bedroom monitor while they sleep (that sounds a little creepy), and just plain going crazy all day while I am at work waiting to get home to see them.
I know us guys are not supposed to be like this……..well…….that’s what our culture tells us anyway…….but I must confess that I am MADLY IN LOVE WITH MY CHILDREN!!!!
Just thought you would like to know!!
Much love,
Shawn
I WON!!!!!
Ok, I didn’t win the lottery but I did win an autographed copy of “The Modern Mom’s Guide to Dads” by Hogan Hilling and Jayne Rutherford. I must say that I can’t wait to check out this book. I love reading books on being a parent and am really looking forward to reading this one. I will post a review and picture when I get it in!!!
On another note I plan on in the near future to begin doing video blogs. I think it would add a little sweetness to my blogs!! I must confess that it is 11:07 pm and I am spent!!! Time for bed!! Until next time.
Much love,
Shawn
Things I have learned while being a Dad
First off it’s been WAY TO long since my last blog!!! I will try and not space out my post so far in the future!! However, the reason for the time difference has been a good one as I have begun a new business and have been crazy busy getting that up and running!! I will give you details later. For now, here are some things I have learned while being a Dad:
* Going out to eat with your kids is a lot like wrestling an alligator. It’s a cool idea at first but when you get to actually doing it, you wonder what you were thinking!!
* Kids will puke and poop on you at the worst possible times. Like when your getting interviewed by the newspaper.
* DVD players in cars are God’s gift to parents and I am very thankful for them!!!
* Sleep is something that you used to get in college but thought you never needed. Now you would kill for an extra 10 minutes!!!
* The faster you try and change a poopy diaper will directly determine how fast it is filled once you put your child on the ground again!!
* Kids will wake up from a coma during the following times, movies with your wife, sex, times where you REALLY have to go to the bathroom and you are the only parent, just as you fall asleep for a nap, when the dog 30 miles away farts in your general direction!!
* Work is just beginning at 5 pm when you get home!!
That’s all for now. Got to get back to work. Everyone have a great week.
God Bless,
Shawn
Throwdown Bed (Dad Gift of the Day)
Crafted from poplar hardwood poles, MDF frame with steel undercarriage bed supports.
With the use of actual fencing, 9 gauge 6 core centers, foam padded rails and synthetic leather covers, this will last forever, just like the real deal. MDF Stairs include replica diamond plating Throwdown Anvil detail.
Looking to get this bed for someone other than the little guy or gal? In addition to Twin, we have Full, Queen and King size as well!
The nickname appears printed on the back post of the bed. Please specify the nickname below.
Dimensions: (Twin Bed Measurements)
Headboard/Footboard 46” Width x 61” Height, Back 85” Width x 61” Height
Shipping in continental US only. Contact us for other shipping arrangements.
*For multiple beds, contact us for special shipping discounts
To get your MMA bed go here. I plan on getting one soon!!!
Cool gifts for Dads
Who needs spoons anymore?
How do you like your coffee? Cream with one sugar? Nice. Just cream? Cool. Black? Rock on. Everybody except the black coffee drinker listen up – what do you use to stir your coffee? A spoon? Swizzles? Popsicle sticks? Bah. All of those so-called stirring solutions are fraught with failure.
Spoons measure your sugar fine enough, but what a waste to have to wash (or toss) another utensil! Popsicle sticks end up making your coffee taste like wood, and those stupid swizzles can’t stir anything, are you kidding? What you need is a stirring solution for your hot and tasty beverage that doesn’t add to landfill, or impart odd flavors to your drink while actually moving stuff around.If we sound like that late great TV pitchman, we’re in great company. We’re genuinely enthusiastic about the Self-Stirring Mug! Stainless steel finish with a snap-lock lid keeps your drink hot. Don’t forget – inside this mug is a spinning plastic disk that frappes your drink into a whirling blended maelstrom of deliciousness. Too much?
Just pop two AAA batteries inside the base, fill the mug with your favorite hot beverage, add your sweetener or creamer – or, hey! Maybe you just like a nice hot cup of cocoa! Any way, press the button on the handle and whirr your drink into a perfect blend. No more sandy sugar in the last dregs of your drink, and no more spoons!
Features
- Mug with drink through lid included
- Dimensions: 4 3/8″ H x 3 3/8″ W
- To clean just pour in soap and press a button to stir.
The Shawn M. Wilson Project
July 13, 2010
I have decided to begin a journey. Not one that will require a map or a full tank of gas, but a journey to discover the real me. A journey to find what it is that really makes me tick. I have often asked myself the questions all of us at one point in our lives ask: “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” Where am I going?” These questions actually haunt my everyday life. I find myself repeatedly thinking throughout the day, “Why am I really here?” “Am I supposed to be working here, living here, and going to this church?” “Am I pleasing to God, my wife, our family?” “Where am I really going in life?” “Do I have a plan?” “Should I have a plan?” “How am I supposed to live?” “How do I live a life that is pleasing to God?”
For many these questions are easily answered. For others, like me, we struggle to find the definite conclusions that we are looking for. Life often feels like a maze, in the dark, with no flashlight. Occasionally we will have a good run but more times than we would really care to admit we wonder, “Is there really a purpose for my life?” While everyone around us seems to have life in perfect working order, we struggle to maintain a strong face in the midst of a storm that has more than once tossed us on the beach, making us wonder what our next move is, and sometime even if there is a next move.
My journey is my story. My story is my life. I believe that God created each of us for a purpose. While we may not know or even understand that purpose yet, it doesn’t take away from the fact that we were created with a purpose. While we can be sure that we are created with a purpose, the journey to find that purpose is often the very thing we are derailed by. Why is this? Well, I think it has to do with where we find that purpose.
I used to think that I would find my purpose by going to Church and being a good Christian. By reading my Bible and praying every day. When that didn’t happen I became frustrated and disillusioned. I had been told that in order to find God’s Will for my life all I had to do was pray, read my Bible, and magically I would know just what to do with my life. That didn’t happen!!! Then I thought that I would find my purpose in Bible College. I thought that getting more Biblical training would sharpen my skills and open my understanding to just what I was here to do and be on this planet. I actually became more frustrated and disillusioned and even considered leaving church and religion totally!!
Every big event in my life became the “one thing” I needed to fully understand my purpose in life. When none of them supplied me with what I was looking for I began to wonder if I would ever, really, understand who I was and why I was here.
As I sit here now writing this I am 8 days away from my 29th Birthday (Happy Birthday to me!!), I am 3 days removed from my 6th wedding anniversary, and am the father of 2 of the cutest little boys anyone could ask for!! I am getting ready to open a new business with my Father-in-Law that could totally transform everything in our life as a family concerning our finances. My wife and I are connect group leaders in one of the most amazing churches in America, and we live in a beautiful 3 bedroom house close to the Mississippi River. By all accounts I am a blessed man!! Yet deep down in the depths of my heart and soul I am aching. My heart and soul are longing for answers that I don’t know or have……….yet.
The reason I share all this with you is because I believe with all my heart I have been looking in all of the wrong places in my life for the answers to my questions. I have looked in religion or at least a form of it. I have looked to others. I have even looked to events in my life that I thought would really point me in the right direction, and I have ALWAYS come up empty. Why? I am glad you asked!!
Over the last couple of days (years to be exact) God has been dealing with me about finding who I am as a person. Yet I have continually been prompted to look back into my past. While many would think that this would be the most obvious place to start, for me it is the last place I want to go. Why, because I have NO frame of reference. I grew fatherless, don’t know most of my family that well, and don’t really even know where to begin in order to trace any form of lineage.
So, if you are me, where do you begin? Well, I believe that when God creates us, He puts the gifts, talents, abilities, and things we will need in order to do His will, inside of us. I believe that the things we are passionate about, love the most, and feel a strong pull to, are all indicators of God’s purpose for our lives. So, for however long it takes me to find some answers to the questions I have been asking myself, I am going to totally open my life to review. My thoughts, passions, hobbies, desires, etc. are all going to be questioned and prodded. I am going to ask family and friends a series of questions to see what they say and think concerning what my purpose in life could be. I am going to be open, real, and honest with myself, my past, my pain, and my future. No stone will be left unturned!! No question will be unanswered (hopefully). Everything is going to be tested with the desire that at the end of this journey I will have some definite answers to the questions, “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” What is my purpose?”
I hope you will join me as I seek the answers my heart and soul long for. I hope that my journey will spur you on to one of your own. I hope that at the end of the day we can all look back and see that sometimes the answers to our questions have been staring us in the face the whole time. May we all have the courage to go deep into the questions that plague us and come back stronger with the answers we seek. Until next time.
Much love,
Shawn Michael Wilson
The Dad Life
I must confess that I have totally missed my time on this blog lately!! I have been busy preparing for a new business venture and haven’t really had the time to share my thoughts like I would like to. It’s amazing how much busier life seems with two kids instead of one. However, I will work harder to post a little more often. Until then I thought I would share this video a friend of mine posted on his blog. Enjoy:
Days 6-9. Week 2
So, this week has been better then last. Right now I am sitting in Houston, TX gathering information on a new business venture that I am very excited about. While the weather here is horrible my hope is high and the future looks quite bright. I must be honest, that I firmly believe that God allows us to go through difficult times so that we can be thankful for what we have, learn new ways to serve Him, grow in our trust of His provision, and understand that difficult times are never the end of life. Just the beginning of a new stage.
Of course these lessons are easier said then experienced, but having spent the last 6 months (actually a year if I count the actual time our downturn began.) learning how to really spend wisely, trust God for provision, and discipline our families spending habits. I am convinced that life is better when we learn the tough lessons that make us grow up a little. I’m not saying that these lessons are easy, or that I am even out of our “learning time,” of our current situation. But I am hopeful that where God is leading my family and I is the place I was meant to be the whole time and the difficult times we have face have been to prepare us for where we are going!!
While we still have a long way to go, we are NOT giving up!! As a family we are pressing on toward where God has called us. Here are a few things we are going to work hard to do the following this year:
1. Grow our new business to an average monthly gross of 25K-30K in 6 months.
2. Pay off my van.
3. Pay as much credit card debt off as possible.
4. Be credit card debt free by the end of 2010.
5. Send one kid to our Church’s Summer Camp.
These are just a few of the things we are planning on working toward. I hope that you will continue to join me as I chronicle our journey in this new season of our life. For now I must leave you with the following:
Until next time.
Much love,
Shawn
p.s. The pictures are of my sons. Truett and Graham.
